I’m aware the post i’m about to write doesn’t really “fit in” with the genre that this blog is about, or tries to be, but as the matter “weighs” heavily on my mind – would that do?
I have had a couple of really bad days, followed by a couple of really awesome days. I went to a wedding on the weekend, and the bride and her sister “the evil sisters” managed to yet again make me feel like shite about myself. I don’t know why or how they manage to have such a hold over me, I have known them since I was a kid (family friends) and even in their 30s they act like “the kid in the cool group at the back of the bus” and treat me like the geek teachers pet sitting at the front. I don’t know for the life of me what their problem is (other then that I married their cousins EX years after they split, and that bitch is still hating on me because she wants him back and tried to stop our wedding, DRAMA!)… Isn’t it amazing how much we can grow and change, but some people from our past manage to knock the wind out of our self confident sails with just a snarl from across the dancefloor. Anyway, enough is enough, I am not a child and I will not be “emotionally” bullied by HATERS. I limited profile them on facebook (they live on that rubbish) since that is at the moment the closest I can get to deleting them for good. I’m living my life and I don’t seek their approval.
After a draining weekend a long day shift in the Hospital on Monday, I went to go see the amazing JILL SCOTT in concert open air at Somerset House, London. It was phenomenal ! raining like crazy but that just added to the magic! I felt small yet powerful in my little polka dot raincoat – only now I’m starting to appreciate the weight loss having an effect on my overall energy, stamina, and comfort in my own skin. It is a great feeling.
Yesterday at work I took part in a “music therapy” workshop. We all had to choose percussional instruments and we had a 40minutes jam improv session. I absolutely loved it, and then thinking about how we play music effects us, and what it feels like to be part (or not part) of a group, and the importance of listening to others, as much as wanting to be heard. I’m suprised an hour of bashing out on shakers, cymbals and drums has made such a difference to me personally. I feel a lot calmer, and I think it has a lot to do with music being a huge part of my past life which has been dormant since I “grew up” got married and settled down. It has certainly inspired me to re-ignite my passions once again.
So what is this all about goodphat “cleaning up good?” well, I feel like I’m having a massive “haul” (as the kids would say) of my life. Ditching the useless using friends, and things that take up my time but do not give me any joy or real purpose. Our apartment is a huge furball of MESS and it is driving me crazy, it just seems to grow like some wild species. i have clothes EVERYWHERE and half of them i do not wear/ are too big/ are too not me anymore. I feel like I’m forever cleaning (but badly) which gets me no where. I need to get organised, get a plan, and sort it out. I’m using today and this Sunday to just sort it all out, once and for all.
Being organised is a big deal, it has a knock effect to how we live our lives. I know from past experience for eg that if I am not organised with my meals, and food shop, I look at an empty fridge when I’m starvin marvin and before I know it I’ve ordered a takeaway pizza and my “diet” good deeds is out the window. If you look at the good healthy living blogs those people are crazy with it – they carry tuppaware everywhere and seem to have endless time to make smoothies, protein bars and whip up a healthy quinoa salad “just coz”. I wish i could do that. I’ve spoken to a few bloggers and people I know to get some hints and tips because although I am better then I was, there is plenty of room for improvement.
As I’ve said before my life is hectic, I work full time in a busy Hospital with oncalls on a tight budget as we are trying to save for a house and pay for post grad exams and travel as much as we can when we are young and relatively care free. I don’t have a cleaner, cook, personal trainer, or mum next door to do it all for me! I need to figure out a way to fit in a healthy lifestyle into my normal routine, to be able to make snacks and meal plans in advance, to keep a tidy ship and use my time effectively. It is so important to me to get this sorted out once and for all
Are you guys good at being tidy/organised? do any of you have tips for me? please let me know!