My goodness. It has been a long time. I realised my last blog was at the beginning of the month and we are now at the end, but the last few were a bit cut and pastry from my weight watchers blog – so it feels like literally an age since I have written to you, for you, with you in mind.
Well my exams are over – for now. It don’t even know how to tell you how they went or what to say – it is all just a horrible multiple choice blur. I don’t know the results yet – and I’m quite happy not knowing. The results will dictate my 2013, whether it will be more horrendous studying or a quick exit sooner rather then later. I have come to terms with whatever the results day may show – and I feel calm and centered that whether I pass or fail, I will be able to handle it graciously – and carry on. Whatever happens I still have at least one more exam (potentially the end of January if it is good news with my results) so I’m not out of the dark just yet.
But this blog isn’t about exams – gosh – that would be a dreadful read!
This blog is about food, glorious food, and my journey looking for the thin, slim and happy girl underneath my curves.
I have learnt a lot about myself the last few months. I have sadly gained about 7lbs since the early summer, which is going in the opposite direction of what I want. It gradually crept up during my revision period, and after – a bit up an down despite my efforts to try and keep it under control.I am upset – I took the easier route during a stressful period, I fell too comfortably back into the “old me” relying on more carbs, processed foods and eating out for convenience and comfort. I am disappointed in myself, but I’m trying not to dwell on the number, as I know that I can rectify it and put it right before the end of the year if I put my mind to it and commit to my weight loss journey and healthier lifestyle.
I don’t want to lie to you – with the gain I have been really battling with my inner self and have been almost shocked at what even 3 lbs gain did for my confidence let alone half a stone. My clothes were feeling tighter, i was feeling “frumpier” and it is like my whole va va voom just fizzled out. It has been a daily at times forceful encouragement to myself which is hard but I am working on it. I keep reminding myself about positive thinking and reframing techniques to be kinder to myself.
Well food has played a huge part in my life in the last month or so – I’ve been having all sorts of luxurious treats and celebration meals out (hence the gain) I know how that the balance I had was wrong, and the indulgent treats became a bit too frequent for my goals. You know when you are celebrating that its Monday, that it is just an excuse and you have crossed a line! Here are a few pics of the foods I just couldn’t say no to….
that last pic is immense, a lovely gastro pub mixed grill for 2 with wine my husband and I shared after I finished my 7 hours of examinations – it was intense!!! I got pretty drunk on half a bottle (since I do not hardly drink anymore!)
but it hasnt all been that bad…!!!!
I have had some really amazing health foodie moments of genius too with even the pressures of work I have indulged in beautiful healthy home made delights
Now in the eye of the storm where for now it is calm, I feel I can re-focus my energy back on healthy eating and exercise. I have some great news coming soon about my new personal challenge (excited!) and how I’m going to rectify the gluttony. I will blog in more detail about the new news, and also the psychological aspect of eating and feeding that I have been struggling so much with lately, to help me and maybe readers who may be experiencing similar issues – but I’m aware that this blog is already quite full on after such a long gap.
How have things been? What have I missed?
Looking forward to hearing from you all