It has been. forever. At least a few weeks – which seems like forever in bloggerville doesn’t it? I don’t know exactly where to start – but I guess I will begin with some honesty – because that is something I’ve always been passionate about not just on Goodphat but in life.
Work and life got really busy, and I know, I know “busy, busy” – but it was getting to a point that was just unmanageable and blogging was becoming less of a joy and more of a stress on top of other stresses. I also was starting to feel I was living a double life – the person I wished to be online (super clean and healthy) and the actual reality (not so clean or healthy). It was getting to a stage that I enjoyed reading and writing about a healthy lifestyle – but in wasn’t translating into my day to day life, and then the more I read about the good things others were doing it made me feel even more bad about myself.
Unfortunately due to ill preparation and other issues (long story) I had to pull out of the 5k two weeks ago. I’m sad about it – but at the same time I know I wasn’t ready and it wasn’t my time and I will do it and complete it soon when I am ready and able.I was really physically struggling with getting past week 3 on couch to 5k running training programme, but I felt I couldn’t share that on the blog because it was a bit of a failure/ not really what I wanted to admit to myself let alone the running and healthy eating community. I so desperately wanted/want to be running effortlessly through Hampstead Heath in nike short shorts and a bra top… but I’m (literally) a millions miles away from that ideal!
My goals for the month, and for the year hadn’t exactly gone to plan. in fact – with all my good intentions of losing weight the exact opposite happened. Gaining weight this year ontop of the weight I already wanted to shed was the last thing I wanted – but through this time I have been able to examine myself head to toe inside out, figuring out what makes me tick and why I do(or don’t) do the things I hope to do. I feel the first half of 2013 has been pivotal in terms of my growth as a person and in my journey towards a slimmer healthier life. I know 20 years of being overweight wouldn’t magically dissapear overnight, and i know that I’ve had to deal with the issues at some point or the weight will never come off however hard I tried. I have had some wonderful support from friends (special thankyou Laura so so much) and found the book “The Gabriel Method” extremely useful in tackling some of the deeper issues related to my body confidence and weight.
So this break is really for me to re-calibrate myself. To gain some perspective and control on my health journey, and to blog not what I wish to do, but what i’m actually doing – to be honest and accountable. I created the picture above as my inspiration desktop which is on my laptop and my computer from my favourite pin interest pics – it reminds me why I’m striving to be a better me, and what I need to do to get there. One of my flaws (or strengths depending how you see it) is that i’m a total “giver” and “people pleaser”- I care about everyone and everything else more then I do myself! I put myself as the last priority on the list – and that is something that has to change if I’m serious about wanting to lose weight.
I may be a bit quiet on the blog front but please continue to follow me on instagram and (@goodphat) and twitter (@goodphatblog) as I’m regularly updating pics of my eats and adventures in my quest to get Healthy!
The journey is not over – it is only just beginning 😉