I’ve taken a step back from the blogging this summer, partly due to work / life balancing acts – but also because I felt I needed to “re-calibrate” my inner being. I’ve been going through so many changes – physically, emotionally, spiritually, that I just needed to give myself time to 1. recognise it 2. validate it and 3. enjoy it.
I don’t know about you guys – but sometimes it can feel like I’m running on some low GI low dairy low sugar low fat low mood hamster wheel… sometimes we strive for things so much we forget why we wanted them in the first place. My goal all along on and off the years has been to lose weight. i didn’t know how, or really why, just that I was f*t and thats what f*t people should do. I was doing everything that everyone else suggested would be a good idea, whether that be blogs, articles, or people around me. “You should try cutting carbs after 6pm it worked for me”, “dont eat rice – ever again”, “why don’t you try spinning its awful horrid but you will lose weight”, “for me I decided to go vegan, you should do that”, “eat nut butters its the good fats” “dont eat nut butters its high in calories”….. *insert scream here*
There was a part of me, that became resentful of all the “Advice”. I remember being 17, and my “rebellion” was to not give a damn what I ate. I was sick of people telling me what I should (and shouldn’t) be doing/eating that for me, eating “chip pittas” and milkybar chunkies at school was a big “f*** you” to the world… when girls around me were trying to starve themselves, there i was stuffing my face. It felt almost empowering to not care, but at the time I never realised that i was hurting myself – and that as much as the anorexics were “ill”… so was I.
Now this is topical, since in the last month America has announced that “Obesity” is now classified as an “illness”. I don’t want to get overly political about this on the blog – I suppose we all have our own views about weight, but there is a part of me that wonders if I would be where I was now if the morbidly obese teenager got some help; if people didn’t ignore my expanding waist line because I was an A* Student, as if thats all that matters in life.
Anyways, I digress, how did I get onto this again?
Oh yeah – taking a step back, re-evaluating my life goals.
So in the last month or so, after finishing some wonderful health coaching with Laura I feel in a very good place. I’m in a place now that I know what works for me, I know what I want. I know what kind of food I want to eat, and what kind of “diet” I want to have. Im learning all the time – but the space has allowed me to not feel overwhelmed with all the subliminal messages out there. To not be such a health blogging “sheep”. To figure out what is best for me in my food and in my fitness…. and this independence is such a wonderful feeling!
So what have I learned?
1. I feel good when my meal is wholesome, mindful and balanced – I need my carbs, i need my proteins and I need my good fats 🙂 also a salad can be a great filling meal!
2. i love variety when I work out – i love to have a week with strength training, swimming, walking and zumba – no day has to be the same!
3. i use exercise as “me-time” indulgence. Its not selfish to care about my self/health.
4. plan, prepare, and attack! i feel my best when I’m in control and know what I’m eating for my next meal and what my next workout is.
5. Baby steps – I have a lot of weight to lose, but its tackling it 1 pound at a time – and giving myself non-food rewards when I do (manicures and buying fat quarters quilting fabric is now my new favourite thing)
The most important thing I’ve learnt – something I’ve not mentioned above, is WHY i’m doing this. Why am I trying to lose weight? Now – thats a whole other blog – but for me one of the main things is that I’m ready to match the person i FEEL i am on the inside to the person that is seen on the outside – I don’t want to be “fat at thirty” , I’m ready to start a new chapter in my wheel of life – I’m turning 30 in just under 18months! (Dec 2014 to be exact!) I’m joining Amy (@Curlsandcoffee) in her challenge to be the best me by the time I hit 30… and i *know* I can do this!
Keep up to date with me as I twitter (@goodphatblog) and instagram (@goodphat) myself to goal!