Jillian Michaels to me is completely badass. I love her ethos and her real attitude. I’m yet to try the “30day Shred” & other at home workout videos which I know is wildly popular but I still love what I see and know about her.
One of the greatest things I like about her is that she encourages people to get real, to be honest about their journey and the reasons not only why they may have gained the excess weight, but also the reasons why they want to get rid of it.
I know for a while, speaking very personally here (aka. put the kettle on) that i was drifting in and out of active/passive weight loss for 3 years or so. Before this i was still overweight (aka obese) but I was in UTTER denial. In fact, i didn’t even want to go to weightwatchers let alone join online, because that would mean it was true (that yes, I was the F word, and I had to do something about it). I managed pretty well up until then – I was (am) reasonably popular and outgoing, and attracted lots of people with my humour and outlook – and I soared through school and college to achieve the highest achievements in my career in my 20s. I even found love as a “big girl”, with a husband that loves me inside and out, and got married with curves galore – and was a beautiful bride indeed! I’d never even dieted before – not at school, not at uni, and not in the lead up to my big day. Quite astonishing really !
but something changed
I’m not sure what it was – but it was like all the tiny whispers throughout my life were put on speakerphone. It was like suddenly i was aware of myself for the first time, and also I realised that I DONT HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS FOREVER. Somewhere along the line, i had accepted that I was F** and thats just me and thats who I will always be. I think my husband, especially, helped me to realise my own self worth – and with that I learned that I can be whoever want to be, not just academically, but physically too.
i JOINED weight watchers in 2011 and I’ve not look back. I have had some challenging times, and months of plataeus, and even gains, but i’ve kept going. The logical part of my brain tells me this should be easier then the hardcore post graduate exams I have done – calories in, calories out – but this journey is a lot more emotionally challenging then I have ever expected. Through the process of losing weight my whole persona and personality has changed – its made me more aware of peoples intentions, and that some people are more supportive about my weight loss efforts then others. Its made me understand myself more, what is on my priority list – what makes up my day to day and why I eat what I eat when I eat it!
I was at the doctors a few weeks ago, just for my routine screen, and I opened up about my weightloss journey. I told her i had lost 2 stone, and although it was clear i have more to lose, she was very proud of me. She then said “without surgery?” which I answered, of course, “no! no surgery”. That small comment made me think – I know a girl that had a gastric bypass (and ended up developing an eating disorder but thats another story!) but I’ve never seen myself that big to require surgery, eventhough I guess at my highest weight I really was. Although my numbers are well into the 200s I joke to myself that, like the famous Southpark line “I’m not f*t, I’m just big boned!” Anyway. I realised after my doctors appointment that choosing to lose a lot of weight without medical aids such as pills and surgery is a whole accomplishment in its own right. It made me take a step back, and I realise that if (WHEN) i get to goal – I will be so even more proud of myself and I will go back to my doctor and say “Ta Daaa – no surgery – !”
There is a part of me that is still in denial that I’m a “big girl”. There is also a part of me that doesn’t quite trust the changing physique I see in the mirror (you can see my progress on my instagram @goodphat I post daily!) I’m starting to love who I see in my reflection, and I’m starting to see what my body could actually be. i’m only 5″3 so a little bit of weight on makes a big difference, as does off!
So what I’m trying to say in this extremely rambling post is that I’m getting real with myself, because I really want to see results! I’m tired of bumbling along being a bit soft focus. Even with the blog – its never really been devoted to my weightloss journey because I was bedazzled by the beautiful “lifestyle” blogs of all the lovely people I follow that don’t have 50+ pounds to lose!!
My goals are really clear now and I’m going to declare it right now on GOODPHAT!
I want to get to my goal weight or as close to it by my 30th Birthday which is Xmas Eve 2014! I have at least 50 lb I want to shift by then, I’ve got 9 months! The reasons why are many – but mainly its about my health, my body, feeling FWINE new yorker style, wanting to start a family without the complications of obesity, wanting to wear short shorts in summer (and winter goddammit), wanting to “wave my hands in the air like I just don’t care (about my bingo wings)” I’m going to do this with eating good keeping a food diary tracking what i eat and working out hard a combination of zumba, body combat, yoga, and strength training.
I’m hoping that if I just commit and stick to this, day by day, I will start to see results. I have already started to see results since my resolve on my 29th Birthday 3 months ago (eek!) but I just have to keep going and keep moving forward!
Do you have any motivational advice/tips on how to maintain a weight loss journey long term? Do you have any weight loss goals yourself? I would love to do this together!