All work and no play certainly makes Jack a Dull boy (as well as Jill, Lisa, and Gary lurking at the back of the office!)
This last week I have realised I was/am on the brink of becoming a WORKAHOLIC
a person who compulsively works excessively hard and long hours.
This is *not* something I’m proud of you guys. In all my years of working, in some high pressured environments, I have managed, in the most part to separate my work life and “life” life successfully. I say successfully, but really that is a bit of a misnomer. AKA. LIE.
The truth is I struggled balancing and “having it all” – In fact the biggest year of my life in 2010 had the most changes too. I got married. Moved job. Moved to the other side of London into a tiny flat, far away from my old friends and family. Moved IN with the boy for the first time. AND decided (unwisely) to study for my postgraduate exams, if there wasn’t enough on my plate. And whilst all this was happening, full time, I had to deal with the mind f*ck of adjusting to my new life, and new role (in terms of my job and a new life as someones wife!) and the loss of some very close relationships and friendships that I had relied on.
There was one other big change that year, speaking of having enough of my plate, as I ballooned in size. I’m not just talking a dress size. Closer to three. Its only now, in hindsight, looking back I can see what happened to me. I was stressed and ate my emotions. Food was my quick fix. I don’t want to even say “answer”, because saying that doesn’t really do it justice.
Food was my… anaesthetic.
it numbed the pain, the anxiety, the fear. I dealt with all the change by sticking close to the one constant in my life – FOOD. Food wouldn’t let me down. Food would always be there. Food didn’t care if I wasn’t good at my job, or if I finished work late, or if I hadn’t done the dishes.
And although I tell the tale, 5 years later and around 3 stone lighter… I wasn’t willed to write this on a Friday night to “gloat” how “cured” I am. Quite the opposite
I still struggle with balancing my work and my life. This last week has been the worst – so many reports and deadlines and more nights late at the office and takeaways than not. I haven’t even had time to do a food shop. Its been that busy.
My husband and i decided to go to the gym together after work on Wednesday (after a whole 8 days not going) and looking at myself in the mirror in a spinning class I realised something
the choices I choose to make TODAY, will impact the Future me and the
REST OF MY LIFE.
If I carry on prioritising my work over my health, I will end up a 40 year old, morbidly obese director of so and so, eating dinner at her desk replying to a million emails.
Hell. If I carry on prioritising everything and everyone over myself and my health, I will end up dead.
To think that weight loss is about “calories in vs. calories out” is just ridiculus in my eyes. Your whole lifestyle and way of being will come under scrunity on this journey – you will soon realise the triggers and situations that will cause you to gain weight, or, more commonly, stop you from losing weight (leaving you stuck in no mans land!) Stress, relationships and work life commitments will all have an impact on your weight loss success (or lack of!!)
I want to make time to digest my food. I want to make time in my life to go to the gym, and to take time to rest and “Switch off” – because I know thats what i need to stay emotionally and physically healthy.
i realised i don’t want to be “that” girl, and I need to put the boundaries in NOW and work on Protecting your Bubble
practical ways that are starting to help me get a grip include
- Not replying (or checking) work emails/messages after 5pm
- My partner and I making an agreement to not talk about work in the evenings
- To meal prep and plan every 3 days, or at a push, know what we are going to have for dinner (planning one meal ahead)
- committing to certain days to workout or attend a gym class
- To treat my workouts and healthy meals as my daily “medication” !
- To introduce Yoga back into my life
- To allow myself permission to have a lunch break, away from my desk, in peace and quiet, even if it is just 15 minutes.
- To not eat on public transport, on the run between meetings and appointments
- To make time for self care and self soothing activities (having a long bath, doing my nails, and listening to jazz!)
I’m still a work in progress. I haven’t quite sussed my work life gym balance yet, I would like to develop a routine that is consistent that I can stick to, which may ultimately mean 6am workouts (!) but I am doing this and there is no such thing as failure. Its all about Progress, not perfection!
So this weekend I’m ALL about the R&R (rest and relaxation!) I’m playing my favourite music, getting some decluttering done, cook some delicious food, attend to the pile of laundry, going on a day out with my boo to watch some vintage movies in the theatre…. generally just chilling, maxing and relaxin !!
we Got this !!
love Grace xxx