Hello lovely people. Happy Goodphat Good Friday! Promise I will stop apologising for the space between posts (but while I’m here, sorry, i KNOW, its been, like, forever)
Something good is happening to me at the moment. Somewhere in the last Month or so, after months of feeling a bit off centre (health and fitness wise) there was a shift. I’m not sure exactly what it was, or why it was, but it was enough to create some real shifts, not only in my mindset but (finally) on the scales.
One of the changes I feel is that I realised that working out and eating healthy means something to me. I have, I feel, finally “let go” of the shadow of my formal f*t self. The girl I believed couldn’t/shouldn’t/wouldn’t set foot in a gym. I feel that not only can I do this, but I got this and I’m actually doing it. With every workout, and every day on track, I’m carving the body, mind and life I want to create for myself. With everyday I devote to taking care of myself, I’m taking a step away from the past indulgences and moving towards a life of health and wellness. And I have mentioned before, (but is really starting to sink in now more than ever) there is no “end goal” – there is no “finish line”, so with that mindset everyday is the beginning, the middle and the end! if there is no end goal, life begins NOW. If this isn’t about “getting somewhere else” than we should really love and enjoy life in the present, fat rolls and all. Not every day is easy, and there are days I forget this and fall back into my old mindset, but thats when the daily practices behaviours(of making smarter food choices, or working out, of drinking your water, of some quiet time etc) remind you to pick yourself up and to keep going.
I look in the full length mirror now and I see progress, way beyond what can be captured in a progress picture;
I see someone that belongs
I see someone that is trying
I see someone that is working hard
I see someone that has sweated through the tears
I see someone that looks fiiine 😉
Today my Man and I had a casual chat about having a home gym. I thought the idea would be amazing as I dream my dream home in my brain (with a big ass Nigella worthy Pantry, and American Fridge Freezer that dispenses ice 24/7) . He wasn’t keen, and we talked about how the Gym is more than just the machines they house. The gym is a community, a place where you go to get motivated and inspired. He’s right – if I had a treadmill or cycle in the garage, I know within a month it would become a place to hang clothes to dry.
As a “big girl”, my relationship with the gym and working out hasn’t always been easy or natural for me – (not) working out is a good reminder to see how far I have come since I started this blog.
Lately the gym has become a place important to me, and crucially more important than what the scales seem to decide that week. Its a space away from work, and away from home. I don’t have to worry about deadlines, or dishes. Its my sanctuary – and even half an hour is better than nothing to give me a “time out” and clear my mind.
Although I continue to enjoy classes like spinning and zumba, I’ve embraced weight-training again, keeping a journal that I take along to the gym to track my workouts. Keeping a journal helps me feel like not a bunny caught in headlights. Having things written down makes me feel more confident and focussed. I’m using a lovely little notebook from Muji (it was really cheap, small and portable, plus its a thin book so doesn’t feel too “intimidating”). At the moment I’m working my way through the this Bodybuilding.com workout filled with supersets, which I just adore and is a great step up from a beginner to intermediate weight lifter. I’m seeing great results, and feeling more confident in my abilities to tailor the workouts to suit my needs (and time). My husband and I also do a joint workout on the weekend together, which I find really motivating and also has brought us closer together as a couple on a different level!
So yes – working out makes me feel empowered, motivated, inspired, beautiful !!! working out is such a positive thing in my life, something quite new but something I’ve embraced wholeheartedly. After years of making excuses that I had no time/space/willpower/whatever – its now an integral part of my life and something I cannot imagine living without. To be honest, its trumped the weight loss and the number on the scales. Yes. Of course I want to get to my goal weight, and I think eating healthy is a big part of that, but shifting my focus from losing weight to gaining strength is where its at !!!
Wherever you are at in your life – whether you are 300+ lbs, post breakup or post pregnancy (or all 3 even) get out there. Get off your sofa, from Netflix and Chill and go LIVE. Try something, anything. A walk around the park. A zumba class. A tai chi class. Anything. It will be trial or error, but when you find something you like, go again. There are no rules, no time limits, no “gym police”. Just have fun experimenting and building your confidence and investments in yourself.
YOU GOT THIS !!!