Yeezus. Where do I begin.

Well Doctor, it all started when I was about 9weeks old in my mothers womb

I’m joking, obviously …(a little goodphat humour for you)

runfree

Ok with all the pity party dramatics aside, my weight issues did start when I was young, at around 9 years old. Without going into too many gruesome details, I went through some early life transitions, some kinda normal (puberty, moving home, my best friend moving) and some kinda not (my dad having major heart surgery). At the time I didn’t really notice but looking through old photographs there is a huge difference in my weight from primary school going into secondary school. I used to keep a journal and would talk about going on “diets” so I would “look good” at secondary school.

(Writing that last sentence made me ache with sadness on the inside, because I truly believe to the depth of my soul that no 10 year old should ever need to write or feel that way.)

Secondary School was fine. Chubby, but happy. Weight became a safety blanket, and a tool for rebellion (no sex drugs or rock and roll for this uncool kid). I studied my little brains off, the perfect A* student that ate milky way chunkies and chip pitta butties (that fish and chip shop chips/fries inside a huge white pitta bread, aka carbocoma) all day, everyday with a plate piled with rice and curry for dinner. The more stressed I got, the more I ate, until I was,quite literally,morbidly obese.

Summer holidays to South East Asia to visit extended family were never fun. An already sensitive teen, my weight was a constant conversation point (lets just say tact isn’t really a “thing” in Asian cultures). I don’t even speak my mother tongue, but by the end of the summer I knew what the word for “Fat” was. Yet despite constantly being told to diet, I was constantly fed fried indian food, so whats that about, dude. I remember being 16 and thinking, you know what auntie I’m fat and thats me and this is how I look and I’m cool being a fat woman.

So got through school, and got into University, yeah, bring it on! It was a blast. First Year and the weight melted off me, partly because I HAD no choice but to walk across campus to lectures everyday, b utalso because I raved all night dancing until the club bouncers would kick us out. But University lifestyle, and the stress of exams crept up on me, and those old maladaptive behaviours came back in full swing when things got tough. Packet of digestives gone per revision session, anyone

So then, out in the real world. Finally, an ACTUAL JOB! It was the best time of my life! I had a great team, great friends, met my (now) Husband. Lost a little weight in the London dating game (a diet consisting of flirting over cocktails with no food until the last train home) and got engaged in the process!

But then things changed. A combination of getting my driving licence, with becoming more senior in my role (less running around, more sitting in meetings, letting others do the running) and the stress of planning a wedding made me one of the rare brides that gained, not lost, weight in the year before her wedding!

Married Life became even more sedentary and in the safety of a loving relationship, I ate to my hearts content. Foodie Heaven! All system go! But with king man sized portions, the oral contraceptive pill and a heightened gym phobia, I ballooned beyond belief.

It was Valentines Day, 2011, when I decided enough was enough.

We were having an innocent enough delicious Thai meal overlooking the Thames, very romantic. Our First Valentines as Mr and Mrs. Mr made a funny, random comment of my “love for food” and, looking down at our 8 dishes for 2, feeling f*t and frumpy in a black top and leggings, it was the straw that broke this posh piggys back.

The next day I “checked in” to my local Weightwatchers Meeting. I drove up and down in the dark down the same street and freaking out I couldn’t find it, so drove back home. But it didn’t stop me, the following week I commited to going back, and I have, in the most part been going ever since.

I did pretty well initially, losing about a stone and a half quite effortlessly. I then went off track a little, carried away with the “clean eating blog movement” I spent more time reading about clean eating then actually doing it. Postgraduate exams took over, and I went back to my old habits in the blink of an eye, gaining nearly a stone back. I then had a HUGE plataeau, of being STS (stay the same) – losing, and gainingthe same 10 lb over and over for about a year!

Last year I decided to recommit to Weightwatchers. With the help of my amazing leader and friend, Sue, I committed to the weight watcher way, tracking my eats everyday (not avoiding evenings and weekends!) on my phone and being honest and accountable to myself and my group, that I considered my “AA”. I made major changes to what I fuelled my body with, and

Around the same time I booted my gym phobia and became a gym fanatic! It was slowly but surely I graduated from the odd zumba class, to becoming a full fledged regular! I’ve tried all sorts of classes from zumba, to body combat, HIIT, insanity, body pump, yoga and even spinning!

I picked up my first barbell Spring 2014 and I have not looked back since. Weight lifting and lifting heavy has not only transformed my body shape, but improved my overall strength and confidence! I have also embraced the hashtag fitfam hashtag girlswholift community in a big way! My instagram page (@goodphat) is my daily source of inspiration as well as my health and fitness journal, where I document my progress!

So… thats my story! I am now over 40lb (3 stone) down from that first ever weight when I walked into weight watchers in 2011. I have big goals – the main one being to get that 50 lb certificate, and ultimately to reach that magic 100 lb loss club! But more importantly to stay true to this new lifestyle I have created for myself, in my mind, body and soul.

To be truly fit and healthy, inside and out.

I hope to keep journaling my thoughts and progress on Goodphat, and impart any advice on the blog along the way! I also have a sister blog, called Goodsweat, which I want to use as a more detailed diary of specific work out plans and lifting regimes, so check that out if you are interested (it started life as documenting my preparations for my first ever 5K run!)

Thanks for reading me! 

One thought on “My story so far…

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